The Do’ and Don’ts of Communication

How many times a day do things happen and your initial reaction is that of raw emotions without much thought to the consequences? That’s normal occurrence for entrepreneurs because our days are full of pressure, passion, pleasure and pain. We don’t have time to think how certain words, phrases, remarks in the middle of a jam packed day effect people around us. The expectation is that if you’re working in an entrepreneurial environment, you’ve got to be tough-minded and thick-skinned to deal with the ups and downs of each day. Not exactly.

“We don’t have time to think how certain words, phrases, remarks in the middle of a jam packed day effect people around us.” 

There are a few communication patterns, often occurring on a daily basis, which impact the “feeling” of the organization. In these interactions, what you say and how you say it makes all the difference:

• It’s We, Not I. It’s Ours, Not Mine. This is your baby. It is your vision. It is your passion. You gave birth to it. You live it and breathe it. You are the only one that burned through your life savings. There is no doubt about your commitment and dedication. Now what about everyone else that you want to be dedicated to the cause? Why will they be committed? Why will they be committed when they are being paid below-market compensation, or only equity, while working crazy hours? When you use words like “my” or “I,” you may not realize the message this sends or the impact it has on people who have invested time and energy in the business and made sacrifices for its success. For employees of an entrepreneurial venture, when you use these words, the message reads: “Even though you continue to commit your blood, sweat and tears to the company, it is mine not yours.” When you are communicating with constituents, always say things like, when “we” started the business and “our” plan, “our” team. Speak of resources as a “team” even when you are doing 100 percent of the work. This may seem like a minor point but it will get noticed by everyone you interact with—including your team and investors.
• Instill Confidence. Despite the challenges of your organization, always communicate with confidence. How often do you walk out of a meeting and say to yourself, “If they only knew how screwed up we are”? It is fine to have those conversations with yourself, but not out loud. Even though your balloon is full, resist the temptation to communicate in any way that undermines the confidence of your team, customers or investors. Confidence does not mean that you are not candid, that you don’t outline challenges or that you create unrealistic expectations. Confidence is about how you deliver the message.
• Never Talk Catastrophe. There will be times you feel that you are on the brink of failure, at your wit’s end, or too burned out to go at it. You have no money, and you have hit “the last straw” with a vendor, employee, investor or customer. Marathoners talk about “hitting the wall” at mile twenty. Try hitting the wall at mile 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… Your communication can never include words like disaster, catastrophe, quit, falling apart or any of terms associated with the apocalyptic scenario running through your mind. To you, these may simply be expressions of your current emotion and some air coming out of your balloon. To others, these words are warning bells that may lead them to question their commitment to your vision. While the catastrophe of the day may be quickly forgotten, the lasting impression of these words will not. These words will stick in the mind of your constituents like a line from a B-movie you’d like to forget. .
• Avoid Cockiness. To accomplish many of these lofty goals the job requires, as noted above, you need confidence. When that confidence shifts to cockiness, you run a great risk. There are times people do business with you because of your business value. There are other times they do business with you because they like you. When you demonstrate cockiness, you make customers and employees think to themselves, “Do I want to do work with this person?”