No One Cares As Much As You Do

“Our business and personal life becomes one life. A problem develops, however, when we have the expectation that anyone associated with our venture wakes up with the same visceral desire to see it come to fruition as we do.” 

We lose sight of the fact that the rest of the world does not wake up with the passion, determination and focus that we do. Something has spurred us to take this wild journey to create our venture. Our heart and soul are in it. Our business life and personal life (if you have one) are intimately intermingled. We think about it twenty-four hours per day and our dreams are not of sipping piña coladas or a relaxing day at the spa, but rather having our first real paying customers. It is unlikely anyone else is losing sleep, shunning their personal lives, or investing their heart and soul.

A problem develops, however, when we have the expectation that anyone associated with our venture wakes up with the same visceral desire to see it come to fruition as we do. Our business may be our oxygen, but for even the most dedicated employee or supportive spouse, it will never be what gives breath to their lives. We must accept that this is a unique place that we occupy, and if we expect others to have the same perspective, we will be disappointed. Bottom line—no one cares as much as we do.

The Implications

This comes to life in many ways:

• Work Ethic. I had a hard time reconciling this feeling when I first started IncentOne. My team didn’t lack a good work ethic. I was simply lacking perspective. My expectations were that anyone who saw the vision that I saw—to fix the healthcare system with rewards for healthy behavior—would be as driven to work as I was. I became disappointed by their work effort, even though they were working their asses off. I expected that everyone would work till ten o’clock every night. I’d get frustrated when people would be leaving the office at 6 p.m. to get a drink with friends. I would think, How the hell can they leave early when we have so much to do? Imagine that. Going for a drink after work with some friends.We usually understand this when it comes to people who are tangentially involved in our business—like family, friends and team members that aren’t involved in the day-to-day. While we might accept and even understand this for friends and family, this skewed perspective is hard to overcome when it comes to our team. We say things like, “So what if they are only working for equity?” or “Did they think sleep was part of the job description?”
• Money. Lack of attention to money used to drive me crazy. Especially when it was my money. If you left a career or job with a regular paycheck, you understand how incredibly sensitive to money entrepreneurs can be. It’s not that your team is insensitive, but they don’t have the same obsession with it as we do. Imagine watching your bank account shrink when you know you are at least a year from revenue. Imagine getting a parking ticket for $150 when you are burning through your savings. Imagine having to ask friends and family for money. It runs through your mind every minute of every day. It drove me crazy when people going from New York to Philadelphia, Boston or Washington, DC, would take the Acela instead of taking the standard train. It would cost about another $100 to save thirty to forty-five minutes. Don’t they know we are a startup? We are always thinking about saving money. We just can’t seem to understand why no one else is willing to drive six hours in the snow versus taking a ninety-minute flight. We think that no jury would convict us for killing a team member who ordered the $100 bottle of wine at the client dinner or used an expensive software when there was an open source version. Remember, no one cares as much as we do.
• Attention to Detail. It is inconceivable to entrepreneurs that a team member would send a document or presentation to us without every single line being perfect. We keep saying to ourselves, “How could they not proofread it?” or “Why couldn’t they do the little extra research?” The entrepreneur is willing to leave no stone unturned, to proofread a document at midnight when we have already been working for fourteen hours and to redo a presentation despite spending hours on it.

When we don’t recognize that no one cares as much as we do, we not only become frustrated, but we alienate our team members that are working hard, and usually for below-market compensation. We must have realistic expectations not only about their work effort, but also about how much they care about the long list of things that run through our mind each day. Our teams aren’t failing to care enough—we as leaders are failing to recognize and accept that no one cares as much as we do and take measures to bridge this gap.

What You Need to Do

The sooner we accept that there is no one out there who cares as much as we do, the better off we will be. It is our perspective that is off, not theirs. This flawed perspective can be detrimental to team members, and other resources, who are working hard, and still criticized for not being committed. Telling someone who has just worked a long day or a weekend that they aren’t committed enough is a great way to turn them into an ex-employee. Our entrepreneurial passion can blind us to negative and inefficient perspectives, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be proud of our passion. We just need to recognize how it works and how it affects others.

Not everyone has what it takes to bring the energy to create something from nothing. I always felt lucky not only that I stumbled onto something that might turn into a good business, but that I was working on my passion every day. People will say to you, “Work is fine but it’s not like I wake up passionate about credit card marketing. I wish I woke up every day working on something I really believed in.” We are lucky to have found our idea or our vision. We are lucky to have that glow in our eye. What goes with that is the reality that no one will care about it as much as you do.