When you start a business, you spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. Even if you’re not a solo operation, there may be very few people that you confide in or talk openly to. You probably have your inner circle. It may start with a circle of one—you—or maybe your small team. To get your business moving, you develop relationships with a select few people who are helping you get ahead. This might be a vendor such as a design firm or manufacturing company who helps you create your product or service. It might be a broker that helps you raise money. So you start to think that your vendors and investors have your best interests at heart. It’s good to be able to work with and confide in people that want to see our business be successful. Not always.

“Your perspective must allow you to come to the table with an open mind.” 

It is not uncommon for entrepreneurs to develop trust with the individuals they started working with—even if you barely know them. How many times have you confided your lifelong dreams to a vendor you just hired? Or to an advisor you just met? Or to an investor that is considering an investment. Entrepreneurs have this pent-up need to talk about the dreams and issues of the company—and where all the bodies are buried. Your balloon is full and the air needs somewhere to go. A company’s first vendor or advisor can also often become its psychologist. You have to share your deep dark secrets with someone, right?

I know you are seeking people to confide in. I know you want to be able to share information with the vendors, advisors, consultants and investors that help you grow your business. I know you want to believe that everyone you interact with will share your vision, have your best interests at heart and make the sacrifices it takes to make it happen. Don’t let these natural desires cloud your perspective. Regardless of your wants, trust must be earned. Do not trust someone because they write you a check or sign a contract. By the same token, no one should come to the table trusting you. Your perspective must allow you to come to the table with an open mind, but make sure before you confide in someone that they have earned the right. Make sure that people demonstrate the behavior and attitude that warrants your trust.

• Have they demonstrated it over a period of time?
• Have they made concessions to help you advance your business?
• Have they gone out of their way to advance your business?
• Have they had your back in a sticky situation?

Try to be objective and start from the basic premise that they must earn your trust before you start telling them about the petty crimes you committed in college.

What am I doing? I have no life. I never sleep. I don’t talk about anything but this business. Everyone thinks I am crazy. I never go out. I haven’t been on a date in months, my wife/husband/children are going to forget my name soon, I’ve forgotten what the outside of my office looks like. My friends have given up on me.

Meanwhile, work piles up like a multiple vehicle car crash and your employees begin to wonder what’s going on. If we gave every entrepreneur truth serum and asked them how often this occurs, the answer would likely be: “at least once a week.” Regardless of how often it occurs, it most often occurs “right after getting punched in the face for ten rounds.” It almost never occurs when things are going well. Have you ever evaluated your life after you close a deal? I doubt it.

Taking the time to check in with yourself is critical. But you can’t fight the fight and evaluate your life at the same time. Set a time for yourself every two weeks to check in and take stock of yourself. When the thought creeps into your head in the middle of the day, resist the temptation to address it and wait until your designated time. Put it on your calendar and never miss it.